i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
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i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
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It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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