I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
