He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
