i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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