Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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