lets start a swedish sibling band together
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
