just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
