Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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