I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
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I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
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There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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