I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
