Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
