Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
