This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
