I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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