I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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