i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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