if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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