Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Randomize
