Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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