If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
