I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
