i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
