I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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