i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
