I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
