i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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