I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
A bitchslap is in order.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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