I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
