I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
