I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
