Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
