2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
