My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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