never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
