check it out our google latitudes are spooning
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
