thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
