If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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