i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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