He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
