Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize