life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
