you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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