where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
that's an acceptable place to lick
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
bring money and cleavage
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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