2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
