On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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