yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
