I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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