White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
