States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
