is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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