would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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