I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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