she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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