can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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