So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
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How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
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Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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