Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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