Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
