Pappa wants mamma naked
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize