what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
