How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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