I'd wear matching sweaters with you
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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