i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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