I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
