Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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