I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
