I heard we made out
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
