glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
